Blue nights

Joan Didion

Large print - 2011

Shares the author's frank observations about her daughter as well as her own thoughts and fears about having children and growing old, in a personal account that discusses her daughter's wedding and her feelings of failure as a parent.

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Review by New York Times Review

SOMEWHERE in his published diaries the playwright Alan Bennett observes that when misfortune befalls a writer the effect of it is in a small but significant measure ameliorated by the fact that the experience, no matter how dire, can be turned into material, into something to write about. Thus Joan Didion, after her husband, John Gregory Dunne, died suddenly of a heart attack on Dec. 30, 2003, made out of her bereavement a remarkable book, "The Year of Magical Thinking," which became an international success, speaking directly as it must have not only to those who themselves had been recently bereaved, but to hundreds of thousands of readers wishing to know what it feels like to lose a loved one, and how they might themselves prepare for the inevitable losses that life sooner or later will cause us all to suffer. Now Didion has written a companion piece to that book. "Blue Nights" is an account of the death, in 2005, of her and Dunne's adopted daughter, Quintana Roo, and more specifically, of Didion's struggle, as a mother and a writer, to cope with this second assault upon her emotional and, indeed, physical resources. The new book, no less than its predecessor, is honest, unflinching, necessarily solipsistic and, in the way of these things, self-lacerating: Did she do her duty by her daughter, did she nurture her, protect her, care for her, as a mother should? Did she, in a word, love her enough? These are the kinds of questions a survivor - the relict, as the old word has it - will put to herself, cannot avoid putting to herself; questions all the more terrible in that there is no possibility of finding an answer to them. As Didion says, "What is lost is already behind the locked doors." Throughout her career, in her novels and especially in her journalism, Didion has been a connoisseur of catastrophe. Early on she forged - ambiguous word -a style for dealing with the world's dreads and disasters, a style that has been much admired and much imitated. Her tone, measured yet distraught, is that of a witness who has journeyed, consciously if not willingly, to the heart of private and, more momentously, public horror in order to bring us back the bad news. Although she is always balanced, she is not a disinterested reporter; she writes with a numbed eloquence, and at its best her writing catches with awful immediacy the acrid flavor of an age that has known the Nazis' death camps, Hiroshima, cold war terror, as well as the smaller nastinesses, the riots, the assassinations, the massacres -the mayhem that informs the noisy background of all our lives in a time that seems to have lost its collective mind. But style takes the stylist only so far. In "The Year of Magical Thinking" Didion confessed, if that is the word, that "even as a child, long before what I wrote began to be published, I developed a sense that meaning itself was resident in the rhythms of words and sentences and paragraphs, a technique for withholding whatever it was I thought or believed behind an increasingly impenetrable polish." With the death of her husband, however, she needed "more than words to find the meaning." Now, six years later and in the aftermath of a second devastating personal calamity, her predicament as a writer has sharpened, and writing "no longer comes easily to me. For a while I laid this to a certain weariness with my own style, an impatience, a wish to be more direct . . . I see it differently now. I see it now as frailty." And this frailty, she recognizes, or feels she recognizes, is what her daughter feared, and that fear, we are given to understand, is one of the forces the mother thinks may have propelled the daughter to her untimely death. Quintana Roo was named on a happy whim - "We had seen the name on a map when we were in Mexico a few months before and promised each other that if ever we had a daughter (dreamy speculation, no daughter had been in the offing) Quintana Roo would be her name." Born in March 1966, the child was formally adopted by Didion and her husband the following September. When the ceremony was over "we took her from the courthouse in downtown Los Angeles to lunch at the Bistro in Beverly Hills." Thus a pattern was set from the start, though Didion is sharply resistant to the notion that her daughter was "'privileged,' somehow deprived of a 'normal' childhood." Didion has always been the perennial insider - even if she has sometimes pretended otherwise, acting the wide-eyed ingénue from lil' old Sacramento who nevertheless will play it as it lays - first on the West Coast and now on the East, the one who knows whom to know and where to go, who can tell you if not the best then certainly the most fashionable place to eat, to buy designer apparel, to entrust with the task of making up Hawaiian leis for a Manhattan wedding. Her texts are littered with brand names, and "Blue Nights" is no exception: Christian Louboutin shoes, cakes from Payard, suites at the Ritz and the Plaza Athénée in Paris, the Dorchester in London. Even the far past is stuck with labels, like an old-fashioned traveling trunk. In 1966, seeking an assignment to Saigon, "I even went so far as to shop for what I imagined we would need: Donald Brooks pastel linen dresses for myself, a flowered Porthault parasol to shade the baby, as if she and I were about to board a Pan Am flight and disembark at Le Cercle Sportif." No wonder that Didion, back in 1966 in the midst of a hectic life as half of one of the hottest writing partnerships in Hollywood, could not stop herself from wondering, when the adoption became a reality, "What if I fail to love this baby?" From the evidence of this book, that fear is groundless. Yet the needle of such doubt drives deep. When John Gregory Dunne died, Quintana Roo was in the intensive care unit at Beth Israel Hospital in New York City, suffering from a viral infection that had turned into pneumonia. She might have died, but instead recovered. Three years later she fell ill with acute pancreatitis; this time she did not recover. Her life, what we can glean of it from the pages of "Blue Nights," was joyful, intense, troubled. Despite her "depths and shallows, her quicksilver changes" - which, as Didion ruefully observes, were eventually "diagnosed" and given names, like manic depression - Quintana is a fleeting presence in these pages, as if her mother cannot bear to evoke her too vividly, for fear of the pain such conjuring might provoke. "You have your wonderful memories," people tell her mother, but her mother knows better: "Memories are what you no longer want to remember." "Blue Nights," though as elegantly written as one would expect, is rawer than its predecessor, the "impenetrable polish" of former, better days now chipped and scratched. The author as she presents herself here, aging and baffled, is defenseless against the pain of loss, not only the loss of loved ones but the loss that is yet to come: the loss, that is, of selfhood. The book will be another huge success, for reasons not mistaken but insufficient. Certainly as a testament of suffering nobly borne, which is what it will be generally taken for, it is exemplary. However, it is most profound, and most provocative, at another level, the level at which the author comes fully to realize, and to face squarely, the dismaying fact that against life's worst onslaughts nothing avails, not even art; especially not art. John Banville is the author, most recently, of "The Infinities," a novel.

Copyright (c) The New York Times Company [November 6, 2011]
Review by Booklist Review

*Starred Review* Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking (2005), her chronicle of grief following the abrupt death of her husband, writer John Gregory Dunne, evoked a powerful response from a widely diverse readership and won the National Book Award. Left untold was the story of the life and death of Dunne and Didion's daughter, Quintana Roo, the subject of this scalpel-sharp memoir of motherhood and loss. Didion looks to blue nights summer evenings whe. the twilights turn long and blu. only to heral. the dying of the brightnes. to define the dark limbo she's endured since August 2005, when Quintana Roo, 39, died after nearly two years of harrowing medical crises and complications. Didion looks back to her own peripatetic childhood, her and Dunne's life as world-traveling Hollywood screenwriters, and their spontaneously arranged private adoption of their newborn daughter. As Didion portrays Quintana Roo as a smart and stoic girl given t. quicksilve. mood changes, she parses the conundrums of adoption and chastises herself for maternal failings. Now coping with not only grief and regret but also illness and age, Didion is courageous in both her candor and artistry, ensuring that this infinitely sad yet beguiling book of distilled reflections and remembrance is graceful and illuminating in its blue musings. . HIGH-DEMAND BACKSTORY: A 200,000 first printing and national tour are planned for this second intimate memoir in light of the tremendous response to Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking (2005).--Seaman, Donn. Copyright 2010 Booklist

From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

Kimberly Farr turns in a solid performance in this audio edition of Didion's haunting memoir of her daughter Quintana Roo's illness and death. The book is a sequel of sorts to Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking-about the unexpected death of her husband, John Gregory Dunne-and this previous work haunts Blue Nights and helps to guide Farr's narration. A younger woman than the author, Farr's reading often lacks the mournful quality of the text: her narration is simply perkier than Didion's prose. And while Farr does justice to the author's story-using the elongation of precisely chosen words to indicate untapped reservoirs of emotion-there are times when the reading takes on a tone more appropriate to a less rigorous story of uplift through death. A Knopf hardcover. (Nov.) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
Review by Library Journal Review

Just 20 months after her husband died of a sudden heart attack, best-selling essayist Didion (The Year of Magical Thinking) had to face the death of her only daughter, Quintana Roo, after a long illness. This poignant and touching memoir explores her feelings about loss, motherhood, and her own aging as well as Quintana's life. VERDICT While more rambling and repetitive than her earlier work, Blue Nights reveals flashes of Didion's brilliant style as she conveys the terrible pain of losing a child. Kimberly Farr reads with a warmth and clarity that avoids sentimentality. This book will appeal to Didion's fans and to those coping with the loss of a loved one. ["This worthwhile mediation on parenting and aging by a succinct writer...is well worth the emotional toll," read the review of the New York Times best-selling Knopf hc, LJ 9/15/11; see Major Audio Releases, LJ 9/15/11.-Ed.]-Nancy R. Ives, SUNY at Geneseo (c) Copyright 2012. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

(c) Copyright Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Review by Kirkus Book Review

Didion (We Tell Ourselves Stories in Order to Live: Collected Nonfiction, 2006, etc.) delivers a second masterpiece on grief, considering both her daughter's death and her inevitable own.In her 2005 book,The Year of Magical Thinking, the much-decorated journalist laid bare her emotions following the death of her husband, John Gregory Dunne. The same year that book was published, she also lost her adopted daughter, Quintana Roo, after a long hospitalization. Like Magical Thinking, this bookis constructed out of close studies of particular memories and bits of medical lingo. Didion tests Quintana's childhood poems and scribblings for hints of her own failings as a mother, and she voices her helplessness at the hands of doctors. "I put the word 'diagnosis' in quotes because I have not yet seen that case in which a 'diagnosis' led to a 'cure,' " she writes. The author also ponders her own mortality, and she does so with heartbreaking specificity. A metal folding chair, as she describes it, is practically weaponized, ready to do her harm should she fall out of it; a fainting spell leaves her bleeding and helpless on the floor of her bedroom. Didion's clipped, recursive sentences initially make the book feel arid and emotionally distant. But she's profoundly aware of tone and stylea digression about novel-writing reveals her deep concern for the music sentences makeand the chapters become increasingly freighted with sorrow without displaying sentimentality. The book feels like an epitaph for both her daughter and herself, as she considers how much aging has demolished her preconceptions about growing old.A slim, somber classic.]] Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

In certain latitudes there comes a span of time approaching and following the summer solstice, some weeks in all, when the twilights turn long and blue. This period of the blue nights does not occur in subtropical California, where I lived for much of the time I will be talking about here and where the end of daylight is fast and lost in the blaze of the dropping sun, but it does occur in New York, where I now live. You notice it first as April ends and May begins, a change in the season, not exactly a warming--in fact not at all a warming--yet suddenly summer seems near, a possibility, even a promise. You pass a window, you walk to Central Park, you find yourself swimming in the color blue: the actual light is blue, and over the course of an hour or so this blue deepens, becomes more intense even as it darkens and fades, approximates finally the blue of the glass on a clear day at Chartres, or that of the Cerenkov radiation thrown off by the fuel rods in the pools of nuclear reactors. The French called this time of day "l'heure bleue." To the English it was "the gloaming." The very word "gloaming" reverberates, echoes-- the gloaming, the glimmer, the glitter, the glisten, the glamour--carrying in its consonants the images of houses shuttering, gardens darkening, grass-lined rivers slipping through the shadows. During the blue nights you think the end of day will never come. As the blue nights draw to a close (and they will, and they do) you experience an actual chill, an apprehension of illness, at the moment you first notice: the blue light is going, the days are already shortening, the summer is gone. This book is called "Blue Nights" because at the time I began it I found my mind turning increasingly to illness, to the end of promise, the dwindling of the days, the inevitability of the fading, the dying of the brightness. Blue nights are the opposite of the dying of the brightness, but they are also its warning. Excerpted from Blue Nights by Joan Didion All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.