What you really really want The smart girl's shame-free guide to sex and safety

Jaclyn Friedman

Book - 2011

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Subjects
Published
Berkeley, Calif. : Seal Press : Distributed by Publishers Group West c2011.
Language
English
Physical Description
343 p. ; 21 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN
9781580053440
1580053440
Main Author
Jaclyn Friedman (-)
  • You can't get what you want till you know what you want
  • Bad things come in threes: shame, blame, and fear
  • I'm okay, you're okay
  • A woman's intuition
  • What's love got to do with it?
  • Freaks and geeks
  • Let's talk about sex, baby
  • It's complicated
  • Do unto others
  • Friends and family
  • To infinity and beyond.
Review by Library Journal Reviews

Friedman's mantra is "You can't get what you want 'till you know what you want." Designed for young women who want to say "yes" at least sometimes, this guide speaks to those unsure about their sexual future or regretful about their sexual past. In coaxing readers to figure out answers for themselves, Friedman (coauthor, Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape) covers a lot of ground: family and societal influence on attitudes, personal values, intuition, discrimination and "prudes vs. sluts" stereotyping, physical safety and safer sex, conversations about sex with partners and others, managing emotions, paybacks, and making amends. Most valuable are the exercises, largely relating to journaling, such as imagining and writing out different endings for past experiences and listing possible risks and outcomes for various choices. Resources (many web based) are listed throughout. VERDICT While basically permissive, this valuable guide can also help readers with differing views to organize a personal groundwork according their own perspective. Recommended for women and older teens who seek self-insight.—Martha Cornog, Philadelphia [Page 96]. (c) Copyright 2011. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

Review by Publisher Summary 1

Co-editor of Yes Means Yes gives young women the tools to decipher the modern world's confusing, hypersexualized, sometimes dangerous landscape so they can define their own sexual identity. In this empowering, accessible guide, Jaclyn Friedman-co-editor of Yes Means Yes-gives young women the tools to decipher the modern world's confusing, hypersexualized, sometimes dangerous landscape so they can define their own sexual identity. Friedman decries the hypocrisy and mixed messages of our culture (we're failures if we don't act sexy, but we're sluts if we actually pursue sex; we need to be protected from rapists lurking in bushes, but deserve "whatever we get" if we have a drink at a party and wear a skirt), and encourages readers to separate fear from fact, decode the damaging messages all around them, and discover a healthy personal sexuality.

Review by Publisher Summary 2

Co-editor of Yes Means Yes gives young women the tools to decipher the modern world's confusing, hypersexualized, sometimes dangerous landscape so they can define their own sexual identity.In this empowering, accessible guide, Jaclyn Friedman-co-editor of Yes Means Yes-gives young women the tools to decipher the modern world's confusing, hypersexualized, sometimes dangerous landscape so they can define their own sexual identity. Friedman decries the hypocrisy and mixed messages of our culture (we're failures if we don't act sexy, but we're sluts if we actually pursue sex; we need to be protected from rapists lurking in bushes, but deserve "whatever we get" if we have a drink at a party and wear a skirt), and encourages readers to separate fear from fact, decode the damaging messages all around them, and discover a healthy personal sexuality.

Review by Publisher Summary 3

In this empowering, accessible guide, Jaclyn Friedman?co-editor of Yes Means Yes?gives young women the tools to decipher the modern world’s confusing, hypersexualized, sometimes dangerous landscape so they can define their own sexual identity. Friedman decries the hypocrisy and mixed messages of our culture (we’re failures if we don’t act sexy, but we’re sluts if we actually pursue sex; we need to be protected from rapists lurking in bushes, but deserve ?whatever we get” if we have a drink at a party and wear a skirt), and encourages readers to separate fear from fact, decode the damaging messages all around them, and discover a healthy personal sexuality.Educational and interactive, What You Really Really Want includes revealing quizzes, creative exercises, and reality-based advice about sex and sexuality today. With Friedman’s informed advice to guide them, readers will build new skills for safely expressing their sexuality with lovers and explore effective ways to talk about tricky issues with family and friends?and learn how to make the world a little safer for everyone else’s sexuality along the way.