Life gets better The unexpected pleasures of growing older

Wendy Lustbader

Book - 2011

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Subjects
Published
New York : Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin [2011]
Language
English
Main Author
Wendy Lustbader (-)
Physical Description
x, 243 pages ; 24 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN
9781585428922
  • Acknowledgments
  • Introduction
  • Part 1. Hope
  • 1. Self-Knowledge
  • 2. Gratitude
  • 3. The Great Leveling
  • 4. Relationships
  • 5. Loss
  • 6. Spirituality
  • 7. Generosity
  • 8. Giving and Receiving
  • Part 2. Transformation
  • 9. Time
  • 10. Hindsight
  • 11. Decisions
  • 12. Detours
  • 13. Resilience
  • 14. Coherence
  • 15. Stories
  • 16. Changing Course
  • Part 3. Peace
  • 17. Courage
  • 18. The Body's Lessons
  • 19. Attitude
  • 20. Slowing Down
  • 21. Composure
  • 22. Beginner's Mind
  • 23. The Heart's Desire
  • 24. What Matters Most
  • Epilogue
  • Notes
  • Index
Review by Booklist Review

Lustbader, a social worker trained in elder care, here presents her thoughts on aging, which she sees not as a problem but rather as a burgeoning opportunity. Each chapter is filled with anecdotes from her own experience working with adults living on their own or in assisted-living facilities, making her findings readily understandable to readers. She addresses such topics as relationships, which become extremely important as we age, giving us rootedness in a shared past, and loss, which gives us newfound empathy for the experiences of others. Another chapter addresses changing course and is full of examples of those who take up a new hobby or vocation without the obfuscation or delay tactics that held them back in their younger years. She espouses slowing down, to inhabit the moment in front of us more fully, and observes that as we come closer to the end of our lives, we begin to clear a space for what really matters an occurrence she calls the energy of finitude. A thoughtful glimpse into what can be a rewarding, nurturing time of our lives.--Donovan, Deborah Copyright 2010 Booklist

From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Kirkus Book Review

In a society where growing older elicits "over the hill" birthday cards, eminent psychotherapist and geriatric expert Lustbader (Univ. of Washington;What's Worth Knowing, 2004 etc.) unveils the pleasures of aging.This book germinated during a bus tour in New Zealand, when the author told a group of 18- to 24-year-olds that "these are the worst years of your lives." Many of the young travelers, depressed and uncertain, were relieved to hear that life gets better after their 20s. Blending memory with pearls of wisdom, Lustbader illustrates the bounties of a life well-lived. Sure, aging brings physical aches and pains, but it also bestows self-acceptance and true self-knowledge. As the body moves closer to death, "the mirage of power and money fades." In its place comes contentment and a true appreciation for human relationships. Time may ultimately cause loss, writes the author, but "to grieve is to experience a relationship." Lustbader is quick to caution, however, that aging does not automatically bestow wisdom, as one woman in her late 40s realized after grief caused her to break years of sobriety, an action that culminated in the loss of her job. Further, old age does not stop productivity. At 89, Carmen Herrera sold her first painting. The author also pinpoints the significance of gratitude, generosity and courage with the tale of a 71-year-old woman who, when told she was going blind, hosted a party and gave away her most treasured belongings: her books. To her surprise, friends offered to visit her weekly to read aloud. According to Lustbader, it's knowing what is meaningful that makes for a peaceful transformation. The key is hope.Much-needed wisdom about aging.]] Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.