Male sexuality Why women don't understand it-- and men don't either

Based on the author's considerable contact with male clients experiencing sexual problems, this book takes up such topics as Internet sex, boredom and infidelity, sexual aggression and pornography, and Lolita fantasies and the sexual appeal of youth. Bader takes a psychodynamic psychotherapeutic approach, with a psychoanalytic foundation. Depressed mothers and distant fathers get considerable blame for sexual problems, but in chapter 8 (the most insightful discussion in the book) he takes some of the pressure off parents by putting their failures in a context of cultural roles and social expectations. The author fills the first seven chapters with case examples and case histories from his practice, offering few references to other than psychoanalytic sources. Chapters 8-10, however, show a broader grasp of the literature in the field. The book's somewhat narrow approach to treatment makes this a book that will be most useful to therapists who do insight-oriented therapy and nonacademic readers interested in this subject. Summing Up: Recommended. Professionals; general readers. W. P. Anderson emeritus, University of Missouri--Columbia

Why do men like porn so much? What's the appeal of the Lolita fetish? Why do partners stray? San Francisco-based psychoanalyst Bader attempts to answer these and other questions in this judgment-free examination of male sexuality. Two themes dominate: most fantasies and hang-ups are rooted in childhood, tied to men's formative relationships and the examples set by their parents; and the exacerbating effect of feelings like guilt, responsibility and isolation that many men don't understand. Using numerous case studies from his 25-plus years in the field, Bader returns to these themes repeatedly to explain why men are drawn to the anonymity and relatively consequence-free arena of internet sex, infidelity and younger women. He makes a number of reasoned points when it comes to sexual politics and what makes men tick, particularly in regard to the use of pornography (in his view frequently misconstrued by everyone from the user to spouse to society as a whole), but may give some readers pause when turning to the subject of child pornography ("our culture has made the pedophile larger than life, his prevalence exaggerated, and his danger overstated"). Though heavily slanted toward heterosexuality (gay relationships are barely mentioned), Bader's clinical studies should prove accessible and thought-provoking among couples, singles and academics. (Dec.) Copyright 2009 Reed Business Information.