Everything I know about pirates A collection of made-up facts, educated guesses, and silly pictures about bad guys of the high seas

Tom Lichtenheld

Book - 2000

A collection of made-up facts, educated guesses, and silly pictures about pirates.

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Subjects
Genres
Picture books
Published
New York, N.Y. : Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers 2000.
Edition
1st ed
Language
English
Physical Description
unpaged : ill
ISBN
0689826257
Main Author
Tom Lichtenheld (-)
Review by Booklist Reviews

Ages 4^-7. The subtitle of this droll book says it all. There's funny language and a glossary with such words as Avast! and Ahoy! There's an interesting note about the derivation of the term scaredy-pants and a fair amount about general pirate "stinkitude" as well as some insight into the evolution of pirate flags and treasure maps. The illustrations, rendered in "ink, colored pencil, gouache, pastels, and ear wax," are suitably exaggerated and liberally, er, salted with helpful commentary. Figure one, for example, shows a pirate boot with a hole in it--"ventilated to prevent toe crud." Lichtenheld even includes a chart showing how to make up a pirate name (there's only one girl name, of course, and the author warns children about that one). We're talking boy fantasy here, not Anne Bonny. ((Reviewed May 15, 2000)) Copyright 2000 Booklist Reviews

Review by Publishers Weekly Reviews

Newcomer Lichtenheld's picture book spoof of a reference on all things piratical will shiver the timbers and tickle the funnybones of those salts, both young and old, with a penchant for silliness. Waltzing through a compendium of merry myths about the terrors of the high seas, Lichtenheld sends up everything from buccaneers' wardrobes (holey boots "ventilated to prevent toe crud"; the origins of "scaredy pants") to their surly looks ("the Pirate Sneer") and their loot ("gold coins, jewelry, and high-end Japanese electronics"), all to mirthful visual accompaniment. He traces the evolution of the pirate flag (the "1620 Hot Dog and Crossbones" was an abject failure, due to the fact that it was "not very scary"), and provides a handy do-it-yourself pirate name chart (because the pirates are "not going to let you in with a name like Nathan or Ashley"). The off-the-cuff commentary maintains a rapid-fire, gag-a-minute pace that dips into the kind of crudeness certain youngsters crave (polka dots on pirates' hankie headscarves "are actually old booger stains"), and the jaunty cartoon illustrations, rendered against a parchment-like backdrop in ink, colored pencil, gouache, pastels "and ear wax," as the copyright page notes, raise the threshold for zaniness. Boisterous fun from fore to aft. Ages 4-8. (May) Copyright 2000 Cahners Business Information.

Review by Publishers Weekly Reviews

"This picture book spoof of a reference on all things piratical will shiver the timbers and tickle the funnybones of those salts, both young and old, with a penchant for silliness," according to PW. Ages 4-8. (May) Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information. #

Review by School Library Journal Reviews

Gr 2-5-The subtitle succinctly describes this silly book. The tongue-in-cheek humor will appeal to those who like to be grossed out by boogers, earwax, chest hair, body odor, and seagull poop. Some jokes may need to be explained to younger children: "Sometimes a pirate would refuse to use a map at all and just wander aimlessly around the ocean, refusing to even stop to ask directions. These were usually Dad pirates." A two-page "Official Pirate Glossary" reflects the mixture of fact and fiction throughout: "Buccaneer 1. A fancy French word for `pirate.' 2. How much a pirate pays to get his ears pierced." This spoof is not to be confused with factual books about pirates, even though the CIP recommends a 910.4'5 Dewey classification. The cartoon-style illustrations, rendered in "ink, colored pencil, gouache, pastels, and ear wax," are large and plentiful with amusing captions. Don't walk the plank for this one.-Eunice Weech, M. L. King Elementary School, Urbana, IL Copyright 2000 Cahners Business Information.

Review by Publisher Summary 1

A collection of made-up facts, educated guesses, and silly pictures about pirates.

Review by Publisher Summary 2

Putting a twist on truths and creating new myths with each turn of the page, this colorful book about pirates provides beginning readers with an amusing look at the scoundrels of the high seas.

Review by Publisher Summary 3

Offers a humorous look at traditional pirate lore, including their attire, parrots, weapons, ships, and behavior.

Review by Publisher Summary 4

Why do pirates always wear eye patches?
What are pirates so grumpy about?
Where do pirates go to get their ears pierced?
How do pirates keep their underwear from getting mixed up when they sail off to pirate summer camp?
You're not the only one who wonders about these things. Author/illustrator Tom Lichtenheld wondered so much, he had to write a book about them. The result is Everything I Know About Pirates, a hilarious encyclopedia of piratedom. Thoroughly researched using educated guesses and made-up facts, the book reveals everything you'd ever want to know about those notorious bad guys of the high seas.
So grab your eye patch, matey, and prepare to learn the truth about the meanest and goofiest characters this side of Treasure Island.