Roald Dahl's Revolting rhymes

Roald Dahl

Book - 1982

Humorous retellings in verse of six well-known fairy tales featuring surprise endings in place of the traditional happily-ever-after.

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Subjects
Published
New York : Knopf c1982.
Language
English
Main Author
Roald Dahl (-)
Other Authors
Quentin Blake (illustrator)
Physical Description
39 p. : col. ill. ; 29 cm
ISBN
9780375815560
9780394854229
  • Cinderella
  • Jack and the beanstalk
  • Snow White and the seven dwarfs
  • Goldilocks and the three bears
  • Little Red Riding Hood and the wolf
  • The three little pigs.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

The stories of Cinderella, Goldilocks, the Three Little Pigs and Little Red Riding Hood have been retold in verses featuring mayhem, greed, betrayals and murder, from two gifted collaborators. (8-up) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved

(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
Review by Horn Book Review

As with any of Dahl's creations, delivered on dimensions appealing to both adult and child, the usual 'caveat emptor' applies to this reissue of admittedly remarkable, but undoubtedly mature, rhymes. From HORN BOOK 1991, (c) Copyright 2010. The Horn Book, Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

(c) Copyright The Horn Book, Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Review by Kirkus Book Review

Let's admit it, you won't get through these airy fairy-tale revisions with a straight face. You'll find no deep psychological meanings or sly social comment in Dahl's irreverent butchery; instead Dahl, in his blithely frivolous and childishly naughty way, raises the literal and moralistic questions that occur to many an unenchanted young audience: How could the giant ""smell"" an Englishman? Simple. Jack never took a bath. He washed himself clean for his second trip up the beanstalk and the giant slept through his gold-gathering. (Jack's mother, meanwhile, has climbed the stalk and ended up in the giant's belly. ""I had a hunch that she was smelly,"" says Jack.) As for Goldilocks, ""that brazen little crook"" with no regard for antique chairs finally gets what's coming to her. Imagine the bears' position: ""No sooner are you down the road/Than Goldilocks, that little toad,/That nosey thieving little louse/Comes sneaking in your empty house."" If you want resourceful, independent heroines, though, here they are. Far from slumbering in wait for her prince, Snow White steals the queen's magic mirror and with it helps her seven little men (""Ex-horse-race jockeys, all of them"") make a killing at the track. Little Red Riding Hood needs no hunter to dispatch the wolf; she ""whips a pistol from her knickers"" and ends up with a wolfskin coat. But beware--""Ah, Piglet, you must never trust/Young ladies from the upper crust""--when the third little pig calls on Red Riding Hood for help, she ends up with a second wolfskin coat and a pigskin traveling case. Blake's bloodless decapitation, wolf tongue on pig tail, and well-mannered, well-fed Little Bear are just a few obvious manifestations of his own relish for mischief. Copyright ©Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Cinderella I guess you think you know this story. You don't. The real one's much more gory. The phony one, the one you know, Was cooked up years and years ago, And made to sound all soft and sappy just to keep the children happy. Mind you, they got the first bit right, The bit where, in the dead of night, The Ugly Sisters, jewels and all, Departed for the Palace Ball, While darling little Cinderella Was locked up in the slimy cellar, Where rats who wanted things to eat Began to nibble at her feet. She bellowed, "Help!" and "Let me out!" The Magic Fairy heard her shout. Appearing in a blaze of light, She said, "My dear, are you all right?" ' All right?" cried Cindy. "Can't you see I feel as rotten as can be!" She beat her fist against the wall, And shouted, "Get me to the Ball! There is a Disco at the Palace! The rest have gone and I am jalous! I want a dress! I want a coach! And earrings and a diamond brooch! And silver slippers, two of those! And lovely nylon pantyhose! Thereafter it will be a cinch To hook the handsome Royal Prince!" The Fairy said, "Hang on a tick." She gave her Wand a mighty flick And quickly, in no time at all, Cindy was at the Palace Ball! It made the Ugly Sisters wince To see her dancing with the Prince. She held him very tight and pressed Herself against his manly chest. The Prince himself was turned to pulp, All he could do was gasp and gulp. Then midnight struck. She shouted, "Heck!" I've got to run to save my neck!" The Prince cried, "No! Alas! Alack!" He grabbed her dress to hold her back. As Cindy shouted, "Let me go!" The dress was ripped from head to toe. She ran out in her underwear, But lost one slipper on the stair. The Prince was on it like a dart, He pressed it to his pounding hear t. "The girl this slipper fits," he cried, "Tomorrow morn shall be my bride! I'll visit every house in town Until I've tracked the maiden down!" Then rather carelessly, I fear, He placed it on a crate of beer. At once, one of the Ugly Sisters (The one whose face was blotched with blisters) Sneaked up and grabbed the dainty shoe, And quickly flushed it down the loo. Then in its place she calmly put The slipper from her own left foot. Ah-ha, you see, the plot grows thicker, And Cindys luck starts looking sicker. Next day, the Prince went charging down To knock on all the doors in town. In every house, the tension grew. Who was the owner of the shoe? The shoe was huge and frightfully wide. (A normal foot got lost inside.) Also it smelled a wee bit icky. (The owner's feet were hot and sticky.) Thousands of eager people came To try it on, but all in vain. Now came the Ugly Sisters' go. One tried it on. The Prince screamed, "No!" But she screamed, "Yes! It fits! Whoopee! So now you've got to marry me!" The Prince went white from ear to ear. He muttered, "Let's get out of here." "Oh no you don't! You've made a vow! There's no way you can back out now! "Off with her head!" the Prince roared back. They chopped it off with one big whack. This pleased the Prince. He smiled and said, "She's prettier without her head." Then up came Sister Number Two, Who yelled, "Now I will try the shoe!" "Try this instead!" the Prince yelled back. He swung his trusty sword and smack Her head went crashing to the ground. It bounced a bit and rolled around. In the kitchen, peeling spuds, Cinderella heard the thuds Of bouncing heads upon the floor, And poked her own head round the door. "What's all the racket?" Cindy cried. "Mind your own bizz," the Prince replied. Poor Cindys heart was torn to shreds. My Prince! she thought. He chops off heads! How could I marry anyone Who does that sort of thing for fun? The Prince cried, "Who's this dirty slut? Off with her nut! Off with her nut!" just then, all in a blaze of light, The Magic Fairy hove in sight, Her Magic Wand went swoosh and swish! "Cindy!" she cried. "Come make a wish! Wish anything and have no doubt That I will make it come about!" Cindy answered, "Oh kind Fairy, This time I shall be more wary. No more Princes, no more money I have had my taste of honey I'm wishing for a decent man. They're hard to find. D'you think you can?" Within a minute, Cinderella Was married to a lovely feller, A simple jam-maker by trade, Who sold good homemade marmalade. Their house was filled with smiles and laughter And they were happy ever after. Excerpted from Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes by Roald Dahl All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.