As a woman What I learned about power, sex, and the patriarchy after I transitioned

Paula Stone Williams

Book - 2021

"A moving and unforgettable memoir of a transgender pastor's journey from despair to joy as she transitioned from male to female and learned about gender inequity, at home and in the workplace-perfect for fans of Redefining Realness and There Is Room for You"--

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Subjects
Genres
Autobiographies
Published
New York, NY : Atria Books 2021.
Language
English
Main Author
Paula Stone Williams (author)
Edition
First Atria Books hardcover edition
Physical Description
x, 241 pages ; 24 cm
ISBN
9781982153342
  • What You Write This For
  • Introduction: Trusting the Flow
  • Part I.
  • 1. My Wedding Night
  • 2. A Gender Revealed
  • 3. The Problem with Puberty
  • 4. Escaping the Fires of Hell
  • 5. Till Death Do Us Part
  • 6. Life Together
  • 7. Will This Decision Enhance Your Life or Diminish it?
  • Part II.
  • 8. A Call to Deny
  • 9. Telling Our Children
  • 10. Time before a Time
  • 11. Eighteen Days in December
  • 12. The Darkest Night
  • 13. Hope Unfolding
  • 14. A New Church and New Life
  • 15. Dying before Dying
  • Part III.
  • 16. Life Is Easier for Men
  • 17. What I Wish I Could Tell Paul
  • 18. Just-in-Time Grace
  • 19. Religions of Hate, Religions of Love
  • 20. Gender and Sexuality
  • 21. For the Greater Good
  • Acknowledgments
  • About the Author
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

In this earnest, empathetic debut, Williams aims to bridge her Christian faith with her transgender identity as she reconciles these aspects of her life. Raised by a pastor father and emotionally volatile mother, her path in ministry was all but preordained. Early on, she was ambivalent about her assigned (male) gender. "I did not dislike being a boy," she recalls, and she felt she was meant to be a girl. She married her college sweetheart, Cathy, in 1972, and moved up in the evangelical church, raising three children and becoming CEO of the Orchard Group, a "church planting" ministry. But the call to transition was impossible to ignore, so she began hormone therapy. Her transition was met by a harsh rejection from the Orchard Group and eventually a divorce from Cathy. After making her living as part of an institution built on condemning LGBTQ individuals, she discovered that the authority she enjoyed as a straight white man was unavailable to her as a trans lesbian. She did manage, though, to carve out new leadership roles in affirming churches and continues to work as a pastor. While she examines her new perspective with humility and grace, Williams's observations about patriarchy won't come as revelations to most women and LGBTQ readers. Those haunted by evangelical culture will find much to ponder in this story. Agent: Roger Freet, Foundry Literary + Media. (June)

(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
Review by Kirkus Book Review

A transgender woman chronicles her difficult journey from "alpha male" and evangelical leader to life in the body that feels most natural to her. Paula was born Paul in West Virginia, raised to follow in the footsteps of an evangelical pastor father. Paul went to Bible college and became a pastor, "guaranteeing a life of cognitive dissonance." Though he "did not dislike being a boy…from as early as I can remember, in my heart I longed to be a girl." He married and was ordained into the Christian ministry, raising three children. Then, by transitioning from Paul to Paula, Williams "exploded the family narrative and shocked a whole denomination." After transition, she lost employment, lots of money, most friends, and the privilege routinely accorded White men. Today, the author is a pastor and pastoral counselor in Boulder County, Colorado, as well as an activist for gender and LGBTQ+ equity. She has broken free from evangelism to "embrace a more generous expression of the Christian faith," and consequently, the fundamentalist church has rejected her. Nonetheless, the author continues to describe her journey in religious terms, seeing her transition and life experience as a "sacred and holy adventure." As she notes, "healthy spirituality can be a solution to the damage done by bad religion." However, the author has also discovered that living as a strong female is not as easy as living as an alpha male, as many of the same traits (confidence, decisiveness) are perceived differently according to gender. More often than not, men are judged by their content, women by their looks. Delivering lectures, progressive sermons, and TED Talks, Williams describes "the surprises of living as a woman, and particularly the shock of losing my male privilege." After her own transition, Williams calls for even broader societal change around gender and sexuality. Not just a compelling personal memoir, this book holds lessons for all of us. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.