Review by Booklist Review
Award-winning filmmaker and writer and outspoken feminist Selvaratnam's memoir documents her own #MeToo experience. When she met New York State Attorney Eric Schneiderman, there was instant attraction between them, and he impressed her with his support of feminist issues and his position as Donald Trump's legal nemesis. When Schneiderman's controlling behavior and verbal abuse began, Selvaratnam chalked it up to his mixing of alcohol, Ambien, and lorazepam. His abuse turned physical during sex, when he slapped Selvaratnam, spit on her, and referred to her as his "brown slave." Terrified by his political clout and sure he could have her killed, she was able to break her silence through the help of friends, her therapist, and a domestic violence expert (who provides an appendix of resources here). Selvaratnam's book helps break down stereotypes about victims and their abusers, combining memoir with a brief history of the #MeToo movement and the famous men involved, as well as a guide and inspiration for women experiencing intimate violence.
From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review
Filmmaker Selvaratnam (The Big Lie) traces the harrowing story of her relationship with former New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman in this courageous work. Following her explosive admission in the New Yorker in 2018 about Schneiderman's abuse, she unflinchingly shares details of the violence she endured. Selvaratnam met Schneiderman at the 2016 Democratic National Convention, where they connected over their progressive ideals. Soon after, they started dating. Schneiderman was a rising public figure, but in their relationship, she writes, he became a "nightmare" and would slap and choke her during sex, and called her "his property." Despite being a successful woman in her 40s, she stayed with him. Recently divorced, Selvaratnam writes she "was weakened with regard to romance" and that Schneiderman "had a history of breaking strong women down." After a year of abuse and threats, she finally sought the aid of friends, and when news broke about Harvey Weinstein, they helped her leave him. The revelation that Schneiderman abused another ex-girlfriend inspired her to come forward to the New Yorker, leading to his resignation. In capping her account, Selvaratnam offers advice and resources for victims of abuse, emphasizing, "you are not alone and you are not crazy." This gripping story is not to be missed. Agent: Meg Thompson, Thompson Literary. (Feb.)
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Review by Library Journal Review
With its epigraph from Terry Tempest Williams's When Women Were Birds and chapter titles that invoke the fairy tale tropes her story dismantles, Assume Nothing is raw, gut-wrenching, and honest in its exposure of how--and why--women find themelves trapped in the stories that comprised their childhoods, with particular attention to the shame that comes from believing that they should have known better. Selvaratnam has written this for other women, in an effort to amplify the voices of people who lack the visibility she gained in the aftermath of going public about experiencing abuse by former New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman. She writes with tremendous personal vulnerability, yet never loses sight of the broader policies and data surrounding domestic violence, which lends her work strength as a memoir and as a polemic. By taking Schneiderman's own language and using it as a framework for exploring the complexity of domestic violence, Selvaratnam has successfully undermined the damaging rhetoric designed to prevent women from recognizing themselves as experiencing abuse, especially in situations where there is an imbalance of power. VERDICT A searing, yet sensitive account of vulnerability and redemption that will find a wide audience.--Emily Bowles, Lawrence Univ., WI
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Review by Kirkus Book Review
A writer and award-winning filmmaker's account of how she fell intoand later escapedan abusive relationship with the charismatic former attorney general of New York state.When Selvaratnam met rising Democratic political star Eric Schneiderman in 2016, the attraction was immediate, and the texts and emails they exchanged in the weeks that followed became the prelude to a fairy-tale romance. At first, the author thought she had found a man whose transformational feminist values not only aligned with hers, but who seemed committed to defending the nation against what he knew would be Donald Trump's inevitable "attacks on civil liberties and vulnerable communities." However, the closer she became to Schneiderman, whose circle of acquaintances included Harvey Weinstein, the more he revealed his misogyny. An alcoholic who also combined Ambien and lorazepam, Schneiderman tried to control Selvaratnam and make himself the center of her life. His abuse also included nonconsensual, sexually sadistic behaviors such as spitting, slapping, choking, and calling her his "brown girl" slave. Terrified that "he and his people [would] try to crush me" if she spoke out, the author quietly confided in friends and her therapist. A domestic violence expert finally helped Selvaratnam, who struggled against crippling anxiety and memories of her father's violence toward her mother, make a safe plan to leave. In the process, the author learned that the United States was "the tenth most dangerous place in the world for women" and discovered that many of Schneiderman's associates knew aboutand dismissedhis brutality. Selvaratnam then made the decision to go public with her story in the New Yorker, finding strength in the global chorus of voices that emerged as part of the #MeToo movement. Part survivor's tale and part expos of intimate violence, the book offers a candid, often frightening exploration of the diabolically schizophrenic ways that the patriarchy conspires to disempower women.A courageous and compelling example of an author writing her "way out of the darkness." Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
