Rude Stop being nice and start being bold

Journalist Reid debuts with a breezy feminist guide to being more assertive. Reid urges women to defy social pressures and argues they should reclaim their right to be "rude" in a positive sense by "judging that your wants and needs are at least as important as everyone else's and then acting accordingly." Each chapter explores a realm in which she believes women struggle to advocate for themselves--work, friendships, family, sex, and money, among others--and features a profile of a woman who embraced positive rudeness. For instance, Reid explains how women can be smarter, savvier consumers with tips on when and how to make complaints, and cites Rosa Parks as a paragon for judging "what is fair and not fair" and standing up for what is "inarguably right." Reid advises women to allow themselves to express rage at friends when they disappoint, to create clear boundaries with family, and to never "feel obligated to spare anyone else's feelings" when it comes to finding a partner. The casual tone ("Rudeness is the absolute opposite of being ladylike. In fact, Rude throws a full martini in the face of ladylike and then sleeps with its husband") makes for fun reading. While not groundbreaking, this jaunty exhortation will be a welcome jolt for women looking for ways to better assert themselves. (Dec.)

Chapter 1: RUDE to Your Friends THE RIGHT KIND OF Rude to Your Friends Your friends are some of the hardest people to be rude to, especially if you've known them for a long time and set the expectation that you will behave in a certain way. However, good friends will be understanding (if a little surprised) when you announce a regime change. It's normal for friendships to ebb and flow. It is not your responsibility to keep every single one of your friendships in perfect harmony at all times. Friendships should involve give-and-take. If you come away from every meeting feeling drained, having only talked about the other person, then that friendship is not working for you. When your friends have children, it will change their lives. You are not obligated to completely change yours, unless you want to. A little bit of bitching and gossiping is normal--women have been socialized to talk about each other rather than to each other. That said, if you are constantly expressing the same frustrations about the same person, that's a compass for your true feelings about them and you should follow it. Sometimes friendships need breakups, just like romantic relationships do. Friendship groups where everyone gets along brilliantly and you're all equally close to one another are fiction. Liberate yourself from that aspiration and you'll feel a whole lot freer. You are not an unpaid therapist and if someone is using you as such, you have the right to set boundaries. That said, you should expect people to mirror the boundaries you set for them. Being rude doesn't mean being unreasonable, and you can't do the three a.m. "Why doesn't he love me?" call if you've told your girlfriends that you will have friendship office hours between eleven and one on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Excerpted from Rude: Stop Being Nice and Start Being Bold by Rebecca Reid All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.