See what you made me do The dangers of domestic abuse that we ignore, explain away, or refuse to see

Jess Hill

Book - 2020

"A deeply researched account from an award-winning journalist that uncovers the ways in which abusers exert control in the darkest-and most intimate-ways imaginable We fear dark alleys when in truth, home is the most dangerous place for a woman. Of the 87,000 women killed globally in 2017, more than a third (30,000) were killed by an intimate partner, and another 20,000 were killed by a family member. In the US, that rate is 2.5 women killed by their partner every day. These statistics tell... us something that's almost impossible to grapple with: it's not the monster in the dark women should fear, but the men they fall in love with. In not only a searing investigation, but a dissection of how that violence can be enabled and reinforced by the judicial system we trust to protect us, See What You Made Me Do carefully dismantles the flawed logic of victim-blaming and challenges everything you thought you knew about domestic and family violence"--

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Subjects
Published
Naperville, Illinois : Sourcebooks [2020]
Language
English
Item Description
"Originally published as See what you made me do in 2019 in Australia by Black Inc., an imprint of Schwartz Publishing"--Title page verso.
Physical Description
xxv, 436 pages ; 24 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references (pages 403-426) and index.
ISBN
9781728222264
1728222265
Main Author
Jess Hill (author)
  • The perpetrator's handbook
  • The underground
  • The abusive mind
  • Shame
  • Patriarchy
  • Children
  • When women use violence
  • State of emergency
  • Through the looking glass
  • Dadirri
  • Fixing it.
Review by Booklist Reviews

This is an exhaustive, horrifying, and compelling consideration of domestic abuse, in its many guises and from multiple perspectives. Unflinchingly, the text rolls out dreadful stories and mind-boggling statistics, covering decades of research and socio-psychological theories regarding abused women and their abusers. After the book's original publication in Australia, author Hill revised her material to incorporate data from the U.S. She found staggering similarities among British, Australian, and American abuse survivors. Hill explores the roles guilt and shame play in these toxic relationships, the ingrained patriarchy condemned by the #MeToo movement, sexual exploitation of Indigenous populations, and devastating material about wrongdoings inflicted on children by family courts. There are pages-long, graphic descriptions of specific situations when help was available, but was not mentioned or offered. There are some positives (successful intervention programs in Brazil and Scotland are cited), and the final chapter touts the effectiveness of community-led, local initiatives. Hill calls for cultural and social change, positing that Revolutions are impossible until they're inevitable. And as she so passionately points out, it's time. Copyright 2020 Booklist Reviews.

Review by PW Annex Reviews

Australian journalist Hill examines the individual and societal mechanisms of domestic abuse in this original and persuasive account. She compares the tactics of abusers, such as isolation, gaslighting, and surveillance, to the torture methods that led American POWs to defect to China during WWII; profiles women protecting themselves and their children from abuse they're unable to escape; discredits victim-blaming narratives; and explains how rationalizing abuse can be a "sophisticated coping mechanism." Hill argues that if abusers are seen as "complex humans with their own needs and sensitivities," they can be enabled to address their "supercharged sense of entitlement" and fear of shame, and understand how the patriarchy has taught them to think about men's power and vulnerability. Hill also examines the social and legal structures that facilitate abuse, including police inaction to domestic violence calls and courts that disregard the testimony of children. Her solutions include therapeutic models that understand an abuser's pain but center accountability and the encouragement of community involvement in domestic violence cases. Hill's lucid history of cultural attitudes toward domestic violence and harrowing survivor testimonies combine to powerful effect. This is a nuanced and eye-opening study of a hidden crisis. (Sept.) Copyright 2020 Publishers Weekly Annex.

Review by Publisher Summary 1

An investigative reporter dissects how domestic violence can be enabled and reinforced by the judicial system that is supposed to be trustworthy and protective and tears down the flawed logic of victim-blaming.

Review by Publisher Summary 2

"A deeply researched account from an award-winning journalist that uncovers the ways in which abusers exert control in the darkest-and most intimate-ways imaginable We fear dark alleys when in truth, home is the most dangerous place for a woman. Of the 87,000 women killed globally in 2017, more than a third (30,000) were killed by an intimate partner, and another 20,000 were killed by a family member. In the US, that rate is 2.5 women killed by their partner every day. These statistics tell us something that's almost impossible to grapple with: it's not the monster in the dark women should fear, but the men they fall in love with. In not only a searing investigation, but a dissection of how that violence can be enabled and reinforced by the judicial system we trust to protect us, See What You Made Me Do carefully dismantles the flawed logic of victim-blaming and challenges everything you thought you knew about domestic and family violence"--

Review by Publisher Summary 3

A deeply researched mental abusebook from an award-winning journalist that uncovers the ways in which abusersexert control in the darkest—and most intimate—ways imaginable.

We fear dark alleys, when in truth, home is the most dangerousplace for a woman. Of the 87,000 women killed globally in 2017, more than athird (30,000) were killed by an intimate partner, and another 20,000 werekilled by a family member. In the US alone, 2.5 women are killed by theirpartner every day. These statistics tell us something that'salmost impossible to grapple with: it's not the stranger in the dark womenshould fear, but the men they fall in love with.

See What You Made Me Do, a newnonfiction release, is not only a searing investigation, but also a dissectionof how that violence can be enabled and reinforced by the judicial system wetrust to protect us. It carefully dismantles the flawed logic of victim-blamingand challenges everything you thought you knew about psychological abuse andemotional abuse relationships, while shining a spotlight on domestic violenceawareness and abuse awareness.

This is a book about love, abuse, and power.It's about turning our stubborn beliefs and assumptions inside out andconfronting one of the most complex—and urgent—issues of our time. Follow alongas the author Jess Hill travels through an extraordinary landscape, from theconfounding psychology of perpetrators and victims to the Kafkaesque absurdityof the family law system. Through the eyes of survivors and perpetrators, Hillhas wandered into the horrific underworld of domestic abuse. Now is the timefor all of us to see what is hiding in plain sight.