Sissy A Coming-of-Gender Story

Jacob Tobia, 1991-

Book - 2019

"A heart-wrenching, eye-opening, and giggle-inducing memoir about what it's like to grow up not sure if you're (a) a boy, (b) a girl, (c) something in between, or (d) all of the above"--

Saved in:

2nd Floor Show me where

305.3/Tobia
1 / 1 copies available
Location Call Number   Status
2nd Floor 305.3/Tobia Checked In
Subjects
Genres
Autobiographies
Published
New York : G. P. Putnam's Sons [2019]
Language
English
Physical Description
x, 319 pages ; 24 cm
ISBN
9780735218826
073521882X
Main Author
Jacob Tobia, 1991- (author)
  • A quick manifesto
  • Part I: Kiddo. The girls next door ; Nerds and wizards and Jesus, oh my! ; Inharmonious hormones
  • Part II: Teenage dreams. A very dramatic (first) coming out ; In my own two shoes, on my own two feet
  • Part III: Big queen on campus. A gothic wonderland, a major letdown ; Beloved token ; Sissy, femme, queer, and proud ; Dear Mom and Dad
  • Epilogue: Notes to self.
Review by Booklist Reviews

*Starred Review* ?Tobia, who uses they and their as pronouns, is a gifted storyteller. Their fascinating story begins with life as a feminine little boy, whose best friends were girls, to graduation summa cum laude from Duke as a proud trans person. Along the way, it's a classic coming-of-age story that doubles as a quest to discover one's gender identity. "Sissy," they write, "was the first gender identity I ever had, the first word the world ever gave me." Gay (a term Tobia detests) arrives later as they come out of the closet and begin to reject a binary identity. Other words follow as they mature: transgender, genderqueer, nonbinary, gender nonconforming, etc. Words are obviously important in considering gender, but so is incident. A transformative moment comes when, as a teenager, Tobia buys a pair of women's shoes—with high heels, no less—and ultimately wears them to church. Surprisingly—for a gay person—they write, "Church was my saving grace." Nevertheless, their relationship with their church becomes uneasy at one significant point before they are able to return to its grace. The most interesting part of the story, however, concerns Tobia's years at Duke, where, they note, they were a "Big Queen on Campus." These were also the years when they ultimately found their gender as a trans person. Always thoughtful, Tobia writes extremely well, with insight, lucidity, occasional anger, and, when things get too serious, wit. The result is, hands down, one of the best trans narratives available; it deserves a place in every library. Copyright 2019 Booklist Reviews.

Review by Publishers Weekly Reviews

TV producer and performer Tobia, who uses the pronouns "they/them," recounts their journey from shy, closeted gender-nonconforming kid to out-and-proud young genderqueer LGBTQ activist in this hilarious and candid memoir. Tobia thoughtfully and accessibly captures the anguish of being placed inside boxes that don't fit—how "gender hurts us all" by creating prisons of identity, with both kids and adults policing and bullying those who fail to conform. Tobia was raised Methodist and writes perceptively on the evolution of their relationship with the church, from feeling "unequivocally and unconditionally loved" as a child (a story about coming out to a youth pastor is particularly touching) to finding it less than inclusive as a teen. Their identity was evolving during that time, too; Tobia humorously recalls the inner turmoil and sheer joy of acquiring their first pair of high heels and "strutting around in a McDonald's parking lot." In college, Tobia glimpsed gender freedom on a camping trip, in queer groups, and among friends, while facing down a rigidly binary, stereotype-driven gender culture on campus. While older readers may feel the book includes too much of the minutiae of college life, Tobia's outspoken refusal to be bound by social constrictions is admirable, and their funny, sometimes raunchy voice is a charming bonus. Agent: Katherine Latshaw, Folio Literary Management. (Mar.) Copyright 2019 Publishers Weekly.

Review by PW Annex Reviews

TV producer and performer Tobia, who uses the pronouns "they/them," recounts their journey from shy, closeted gender-nonconforming kid to out-and-proud young genderqueer LGBTQ activist in this hilarious and candid memoir. Tobia thoughtfully and accessibly captures the anguish of being placed inside boxes that don't fit—how "gender hurts us all" by creating prisons of identity, with both kids and adults policing and bullying those who fail to conform. Tobia was raised Methodist and writes perceptively on the evolution of their relationship with the church, from feeling "unequivocally and unconditionally loved" as a child (a story about coming out to a youth pastor is particularly touching) to finding it less than inclusive as a teen. Their identity was evolving during that time, too; Tobia humorously recalls the inner turmoil and sheer joy of acquiring their first pair of high heels and "strutting around in a McDonald's parking lot." In college, Tobia glimpsed gender freedom on a camping trip, in queer groups, and among friends, while facing down a rigidly binary, stereotype-driven gender culture on campus. While older readers may feel the book includes too much of the minutiae of college life, Tobia's outspoken refusal to be bound by social constrictions is admirable, and their funny, sometimes raunchy voice is a charming bonus. Agent: Katherine Latshaw, Folio Literary Management. (Mar.) Copyright 2019 Publishers Weekly Annex.

Review by Publisher Summary 1

A gender-diverse cultural influencer on both the Forbes "30 Under 30" and "OUT 100" lists examines how religious, political and educational experiences revealed the need for greater cultural inclusion and anti-discrimination legislation that acknowledges the gender spectrum.

Review by Publisher Summary 2

A gender-diverse cultural influencer examines how their religious, political and educational experiences revealed the need for greater cultural inclusion and anti-discrimination legislation that acknowledges the gender spectrum.

Review by Publisher Summary 3

"A heart-wrenching, eye-opening, and giggle-inducing memoir about what it's like to grow up not sure if you're (a) a boy, (b) a girl, (c) something in between, or (d) all of the above"--

Review by Publisher Summary 4

THE NATIONAL BESTSELLER"Transformative ... If Tobia aspires to the ranks of comic memoirists like David Sedaris and Mindy Kaling, Sissy succeeds." --The New York Times Book ReviewA heart-wrenching, eye-opening, and giggle-inducing memoir about what it's like to grow up not sure if you're (a) a boy, (b) a girl, (c) something in between, or (d) all of the above."A beautiful book . . . honest and funny."--Trevor Noah, The Daily Show"Sensational."--Tyler Oakley"Jacob Tobia is a force." --Good Morning America"A trans Nora Ephron . . . both honest and didactic." --OUT Magazine"A rallying cry for anyone who's ever felt like they don't belong." --Woman's DayAs a young child in North Carolina, Jacob Tobia wasn't the wrong gender, they just had too much of the stuff. Barbies? Yes. Playing with bugs? Absolutely. Getting muddy? Please. Princess dresses? You betcha. Jacob wanted it all, but because they were "a boy," they were told they could only have the masculine half. Acting feminine labelled them "a sissy" and brought social isolation. It took Jacob years to discover that being "a sissy" isn't something to be ashamed of. It's a source of pride. Following Jacob through bullying and beauty contests, from Duke University to the United Nations to the podiums of the Methodist church--not to mention the parlors of the White House--this unforgettable memoir contains multitudes. A deeply personal story of trauma and healing, a powerful reflection on gender and self-acceptance, and a hilarious guidebook for wearing tacky clip-on earrings in today's world, Sissy guarantees you'll never think about gender--both other people's and your own--the same way again.