How not to hate your husband after kids

Jancee Dunn

Book - 2017

"A hilariously candid account of one woman's quest to bring her post-baby marriage back from the brink, with life-changing, real-world advice.,"

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New York : Little, Brown and Company 2017.
Main Author
Jancee Dunn (author)
First edition
Physical Description
viii, 269 pages ; 25 cm
  • Introduction: Maters Gonna Hate
  • Mothers, Fathers, Issues
  • "Get off Your Ass and Help Out!": Our Harrowing Encounter with the Man from Boston
  • Rage Against the Washing Machine: How to Divvy Up Chores
  • Rules of Fight Club
  • TGIM: How Not to Hate Your Weekends After Kids
  • Guess What? Your Kids Can Fold Their Own Laundry
  • Bone of Contention
  • Kids: Your New Budget Deficit
  • Hot Mess: Less Clutter, Fewer Fights
  • Know That Eventually It's Going to Be Just the Two of You Again-Well, Unless Another Recession Hits
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

Dunn (coauthor of Cyndi Lauper: A Memoir) proves herself a clever, honest, and hilarious writer who isn't afraid to take her own marriage on a great experiment. Few writers would be courageous enough to lay bare such uncomfortable truths as her verbal abuse of her husband in response to his selfishness and how it may be threatening the normal development of their daughter. This book-length intervention tackles the whole spectrum of marital stressors, including dishwasher disagreement, financial infidelity, and weekend activity management. Dunn talks to experts in their fields, including $800-per-hour family therapist Terry Real, sociologist Michael Kimmel, and marriage researchers John and Julie Gottman. Her warm and funny prose will restore hope for moms-and dads-everywhere, as when she writes, "I've made myself reach for his hand when a fight is looming-even if I'm so irritated that I'd rather pick up a live rodent... the familiar contours of his hand remind me that this is the person I married, not the bogeyman." Her book should become a baby shower classic. Agent: Alexandra Machinist, ICM. (Mar.) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
Review by Library Journal Review

Memoirist, essayist, and children's author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?) offers readers a hilarious and scientific look at how men and women differ in both their workloads and feelings about child care and home chores. With intriguing insight, she travels through the decades yet maintains a focus on today's parents and the day-to-day dealings of the division of labor, seamlessly weaving her personal narrative into relevant research. For example, an Ohio State University study shows that "By the time [a] baby reaches nine months, the women had picked up an average of 37 hours of childcare and housework per week, while the men did 24 hours, even as both parents clocked the same number of hours at work." Despite that discouraging statistic, Dunn doesn't fall into a mode of "I told you so," but rather takes the high road, illustrating how male and female brains file neatly into evolutionary patterns. Verdict This truly fascinating text is delightful. Dunn's stories add laugh-out-loud moments, such as describing Grandma's snack cupboard as "Gran's bag of petroleum and animal by-products." One of the best books on the subject. Highly recommended. © Copyright 2017. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

(c) Copyright Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Review by Kirkus Book Review

Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and womene.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertainedall without spending lots of money on couples' therapy. A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.