Data, a love story How I gamed online dating to meet my match

Amy Webb, 1974-

Book - 2013

A personal account of a digital-strategy expert's efforts to date using current online technologies recounts how after numerous setbacks she strategically changed her approaches and met dozens of worthwhile candidates.

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Subjects
Published
New York : Dutton c2013.
Language
English
Physical Description
viii, 296 p. : ill. ; 24 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN
9780525953807
0525953809
Main Author
Amy Webb, 1974- (-)
  • Introduction: This isn't a typical introduction
  • start here first!
  • Missed connections : he quoted me to me
  • Single in the city : learning how to date
  • and to hate dating
  • again
  • Signing on : you are a woman seeking man
  • The dates : two hundred dollars for dinner and a roadside flare of weed
  • Bad algorithms : online dating sites are broken
  • The list : must not like Cats!
  • The mirror of truth : l am not Cameron Diaz
  • Fuck you, impostors! : you are a man seeking woman
  • Gaming the system : in which I outsmarted the algorithms
  • You're a 5-Apatow, 5-Seinfeld : what the popular girls know
  • The super profile : fun, outgoing breasts!
  • Finding Bobo : my last first date
  • The train home : subtlety wasn't my strong suit
  • Epilogue: What happened next, and the other side of my story
  • Notes: Answers to everything you were wondering (and a diatribe on the musical genius of George Michael.)
Review by Booklist Reviews

When journalist-turned-consultant Webb ended a serious relationship at age 30, she turned to online dating to seek her match and avoid horrible setups arranged by her mother. The men she meets on JDate and Match.com prove to be disappointments. They are disingenuous about their physical appearance, they stick her with the tab, and one turns out to be married. Rather than being discouraged, however, Webb combines her investigative skills with her mathematical savvy to better understand how online dating sites work, and who is having the most success with them. She creates several male profiles in order to check out how other women are marketing themselves, particularly the women whose profiles pop up right away, indicating they're getting the highest volume of responses. Once she's gathered her data, Webb applies it to her own profile, changing the wording and redoing her pictures. Webb's clever and inventive experiment, as well as her success story, will be inspiring and eye-opening for anyone who has ever turned to one of the many popular online dating sites in search of love. Copyright 2012 Booklist Reviews.

Review by Publishers Weekly Reviews

In this insightful, funny journey through online dating, Webb, a compulsively organized journalist and digital strategist, tries to find the perfect man by putting herself in his shoes. After the end of a relationship, Webb develops a 1,500-point ranking system for her ideal partner, but she can't seem to find him. In an elaborate masquerade, she creates a fake JDate profile—as a man—to discover what kind of woman seduces Mr. Right. Webb's advice for dating both on and offline is insightful (and data-driven), and her descriptions of meddling family members, bad dates, and worse profiles are hilarious and familiar to anyone who's tried dating online. Some story elements feel slightly misplaced and glossed over—her mother's illness is a confusing plot thread, and there are too many details about George Michael. While some of her best advice is stashed in an appendix, her tips for creating and managing an online dating profile are trenchant. The story of her own experiment is funny, brutally honest, and inspirational even to the most hopeless dater. Agent: Suzanne Gluck and Erin Malone, William Morris Endeavor. (Jan. 31) [Page ]. Copyright 2012 PWxyz LLC

Review by Publisher Summary 1

A lively personal account of an award-winning journalist and digital-strategy expert's efforts to date using current online technologies recounts how after numerous setbacks she strategically changed her approaches and met dozens of worthwhile candidates, including the man who became her husband. 20,000 first printing.

Review by Publisher Summary 2

A personal account of a digital-strategy expert's efforts to date using current online technologies recounts how after numerous setbacks she strategically changed her approaches and met dozens of worthwhile candidates.

Review by Publisher Summary 3

A lively, thought-provoking memoir about how one woman "gamed" online dating sites like JDate, OKCupid and eHarmony – and met her eventual husband.After yet another online dating disaster, Amy Webb was about to cancel her JDate membership when an epiphany struck: It wasn’t that her standards were too high, as women are often told, but that she wasn’t evaluating the right data in suitors’ profiles. That night Webb, an award-winning journalist and digital-strategy expert, made a detailed, exhaustive list of what she did and didn’t want in a mate. The result: seventy-two requirements ranging from the expected (smart, funny) to the super-specific (likes selected musicals: Chess, Les Misérables. Not Cats. Must not like Cats!). Next she turned to her own profile. In order to craft the most compelling online presentation, she needed to assess the competition—so she signed on to JDate again, this time as a man. Using the same gift for data strategy that made her company the top in its field, she found the key words that were digital man magnets, analyzed photos, and studied the timing of women’s messages, then adjusted her (female) profile to make the most of that intel. Then began the deluge—dozens of men wanted to meet her, men who actually met her requirements. Among them: her future husband, now the father of her child. Forty million people date online each year. Most don’t find true love. Thanks to Data, a Love Story, their odds just got a whole lot better.